Stormy Weather

Ok, confession: I'm at work right now.

It's one of those uncharacteristically down days in the residential treatment world. It's adventure day and I'm not in charge of a group, so I get a free day!

Let's call today the calm after the storm because also uncharacteristically, we had some tornadoes roll through the area last night. Usually, that doesn't happen until April or May. I hate that time of year. Yes, God is awesome and creates some awesome weather. But I'd rather not see it up close.

I feel like the chaos at work has been like a tornado rolling through. Unpredictable. Sunny one moment, green and black the next. So, it's nice to have this break, in more ways than one.

It makes me think of lyrics from my current favorite Avett Brothers song, "February Seven."

"There's no fortune at the end of the road that has no end. There's no returning to the spoils once you've spoiled the thought of them. There's no falling back to sleep once you've waken from the dream. Now I'm rested and I'm ready, I'm rested and I'm ready to begin."
Isn't that just truth? There have been several times I've waken from a dream and tried desperately to go back to sleep and pick up where I left off. One in particular in high school.... I dreamed Josh Hartnett was about to kiss me (remember him? Very nice to look at.) and I woke up just before it happened! I was so mad! When I fell back asleep I think I dreamed about school or something lame.

Once you've realized it's all just a dream, it's like there's no point in going back. Might as well face reality because you can't stay in the dream forever. That's why drugs and alcohol are so appealing, it keeps you in the illusion of the dream. An illusion of a dream? That's neither dreaming nor reality. Sounds like a nightmare to me. But sometimes, I feel like that's where I live.

Once something has been spoiled, it's hard to go back to it. Relationship. Job. Fruit. Once you've seen the bad, it's hard to see the good. That's the problem most of the guys I work with have. No one can see the good in them anymore because of all the "bad" they've done. They can't see the good in themselves anymore. I'm so thankful God blessed me with the ability to look deeper. To see what's still good beneath the spoils, and even to see the benefit in the spoiled parts.

That's why there's no fortune at the end of the road, because the fortune is in the journey along the road. The road isn't supposed to really end. It's the journey not the destination. The spoils are part of the journey. So are the dreams. Fulfilling the dream isn't always the purpose. Sometimes it's the journey that allows you to dream bigger. It's the spoils that allow you to savor the sweet parts of the fruit even more.

It's the storms that make the calm days noticeable and not just another day. Tornadoes and chaos are a part of life, they just don't need to be a way of life. Experienced, yes. Appreciated for the hidden gifts, yes. But stayed in? No. That's why we take cover when the sirens go off.

I think there are some areas where I need to focus less on the end, and more on where I'm at in the journey. On weathering the storm, not running from it, but also being aware of when I need to take cover.I want to notice the spoils and appreciate them. I encourage you all to do the same. Learn from them, accept them as part of your story, but don't make them the only part of your story you or anyone else gets to hear.

That's what therapy is all about. So, technically, since I'm a therapist, I'm kind of doing my job, right?

I'm off to try a new flavor of tea that's been sitting in the workroom, Raspberry hibiscus or something like that. Something calm for the day after the storms.

Cheers.